Chapter3: The Proposal

“It feels so weird, I mean, I am feeling like there’s something missing, there’s something I ought to be doing right now and not whining my time away sipping tea here with you”, I said as I simultaneously tried to conjure the ingredients of that tea by its smell.

“Exactly, it has been a heck of a week. I think that we still can’t believe the end-sems are over”, Vijay replied.

“Let’s do something; I can’t control this urge anymore”

“Yeah, let’s do something crazy today. Propose her!”

“What? And propose whom… you know I am never going to … well I DON’T LOVE HER at the first place”, I gasped at the first glance of the knowledge that the godforsaken topic is back. We have been in debate over this topic several times before, may be not directly but arguments have already been shared and I have mostly been on the losing side. I didn’t know how to reason out of this position against a person who just won’t give up even against a statement as categorical as ‘I don’t love her’.  I knew he would cajole me into doing this and that’s what haunted me.

“You don’t know yet. She is a good girl. Moreover by doing this we will know what she has in mind for you.”

“I don’t care what she thinks of me”

“Then why did you ask me to tell her that it wasn’t your fault when you ignored her at Madhuban”

“It wasn’t, you know that”

“That’s not the point; the point is that you care”, the mild grin on his face was the proof that he has already won the argument. “Come on now, don’t be a spoilsport. It would be fun, look at the consequences, what bad could possibly happen… you don’t love her anyway… if she says yes, you will have a girlfriend and if she says no, then you are already better off without her”

While I sat there contemplating, he continued, “Have you ever proposed to any one yet… No? Then this is a fabulous chance to practice. Do it bouy”

And I kept contemplating still… “Well atleast let me call upon your sense of humor”… Now the word humor has a specialty, it can thrash any logical argument, however strong it may be, posed by the mind against a decision in a single blow. And that’s what it did to me. “Okay, let’s do it for fun.”

 “Then call her now and tell her that you love her”, Vijay’s smile now had a sheepish pleasure attached to it which I thought was meant for her.

“Okay, here it goes… calling 9818…”

“Hey…”, she replied in her sweet voice.

“Hi, how are you… busy?”, guessing by the noise from her side I asked.

“Yes a bit right now. Anything important?”

“Yes actually, when will you be free?”

“Give me 20 minutes”

“Ok, bye then. Call me when you are free.”

“She says she will be free in 20 minutes”, I exclaimed to Vijay.

“Well then let’s rehearse the dialogues, tell me what you’re going to say to her”, replied Vijay

“I can do that, there’s no big deal in it. I don’t need a rehearsal for this”, I said casually when Vijay guessed it from my glib reply and interrogated further in his frank tone, “Ok, but what are you going to say. Atleast tell me something”.

“I will say that I like her and have grown fond of her…  blah blah..”

“And where’s the part when you say those three words…”

“Well it’s easy…. I uhh… I …”, and so I stammered for a while and finally accepted and simultaneously realized to my own surprise that, “I can’t say those words to her”

“I knew it. What’s the big deal in it? Say it.”

“I can not”

“Why”

“Because I don’t love her”

“So What”

“So, I just can’t do it. I don’t feel it”

“Just give it a try. You don’t have to feel it”

“No I can’t. It’s like my throat’s closing up. I am feeling anaphylactic”

“Oh stop making excuses. Just do it.”

Tring tring…

“Oh my god, it’s Mausam. What must I do?”

“Disconnect it. And now listen to me, tell her how you feel and let the rest go with the flow. When the time comes, read the letters that I show you. Is that fine?” Vijay asserted.

“Yeah I can do that”, I replied, looking for a justifiable confidence in myself.

“Then relax and call her”

“But what if she says no?”

“So what? You don’t love her anyway. Now call her or I will kick your ass”

Calling 9818…

“Hey, tell me now. I am free”, Mausam answered the phone.

“Yeah, but don’t laugh at me. This is serious”, Vijay patted my shoulder in agreement to the fore-statement. 

“Uh-hmm ok”

“Uh, I-think-I-have-fallen-in-love-with-you”, I read through the letters that Vijay pushed in front of me. 

“Ohk, since when?” she asked in a casual tone of voicing out the question. The only emotion attached to her tone was a guilt felt care towards me.

“I dunno… since last 2-3 days I suppose”

“I don’t know what to say”

“You might want to repeat what I rea… said to you and end it with a confessing too”

“But you are too good to lie to”…. (That hurt! & this reminded me of something that happened on Valentine’s Day. I asked her out that day when she had replied, “Are you crazy…. Don’t you know what they do to any boy-girl pair spotted together. They marry them off”

“So what, we will get married…. It will be fun”, I went on with the conversation.

“I don’t want to marry you”, even though I had no intentions to marry her, that reply made me curious to ask…. “But why”

“Because you don’t talk naughty to me”…. Later that day I had harried Vijay to tell me how to talk naughty and whether it was a prerequisite to attract girls or not.

On that day as well, I was disheartened even though I wasn’t deprived of anything that I desired.)

 “That’s heartbreaking”

“I already have a boy-friend”

“Where is he?”

“He is with me right now”

“Oh, then accept me as a Boy-friend who don’t talk naughty to you”, I gave a final desperate try to win an argument that shouldn’t have been.

“Again, you are too good to be anybody’s second bf. You are a very good boy and I am confident that you will find a nice girl for yourself soon”

“Oh thanks, and I must tell you now… that it was all a prank. Vijay asked me to do so”

“Oh dear Lord! You almost gave me a heart crunch…

Beep Beep Beep….

“She hanged the phone!”

“I know. Was it necessary to take my name”, Vijay looked at me with anger.

“Ofcourse, I don’t want her to think bad of me”

“Look…. I told you that you love her”, Vijay grinned as the unending war had started again…

Even though I care for how you feel about me, Mausam, I don’t love you!  

Chapter2: The one with privacy

Tring! Tring!.......

“Hello….?”, Mausam said, ………. She may not be very good looking, but she did have a nice voice.

“Hiiiii……, wassup?”, I said and I hate that accent that I use while talking to girls I don’t know and I’m looking to please………, besides my big butts…….. just big enough for the people to notice them, this was one thing I wanted to be spared of.

“nothing much, boring classes going on”, she replied.

“Ohk….. I was sitting here at VT……..getting bored, wanna join me?”

“Ahh…… I really can’t miss this class, but we can see each other in the evening”

“So…. 5pm…VT… ok?”

“No….. not VT”

“Why?”

“It’s too crowded………what about ghats?......... we can have a bit of privacy there….”

whoa…… what does she mean “its too crowded”…….and what does she need privacy for?......we are just acquaintances…….. she doesn’t seem to have descent intentions…… I don’t wanna meet her……….. why am I doing this at first place…… as I thought all these apprehensions….. the time that one is generally allotted to reply back was finishing off, so a part of me rushed me into answering……….

“Ok”, was all what my defensive excuse making system could come up with… as my brain was busy processing the above mentioned thoughts…… well I know ‘ok’ doesn’t qualify to be an excuse, but it does qualify for a ‘get rid of situation’ reply.

“ok then……. Will see you at 5……. Bbye”.

“she wants to see me in private…… she wants to see me in private…..”, I yelled at Vijay who was the sole reason for this situation.

“Oh great, the girl likes you…… c’grats”, he said in his usual calm tone, which sounds even more irritating in such situations.

“I don’t want to have any kind of relationship with her……. I don’t like her…….and this is going way too beyond the line of friendship”, I said in a frustrated tone...finishing off my coffee with a long last sip.

After I came up with an excuse and successfully implemented it……. Life came back to normal until Vijay convinced……rather cajoled me again into calling her and asking to meet at VT(with general public around us this time), giving a stupid reason for meeting as surprise for Kartik on his b’day which actually was a week after the 23^rd of Jan……

“hiiii…”, I said to Mausam as she came to meet us at VT, with every part of her dressing sense dictating my sporadically stated fact that she didn’t look very good. That’s what wrong with almost all the girls in Banaras, no matter how beautiful they may be……. their dressing sense would hold them back.

“Hi Sourabh…”, she said and smiled as she simultaneously took out a greeting card…

“happy birthday Kartik…..”, she said.

“… and this is Vijay… a friend……”, I said ……continuing the conversation.

“Hi Mausam,………we will just get something to eat… me and kartik”, Vijay said and went outside with a cheesy smile on his face.

“So how are you? …… no call for so long…… I thought you forgot me”, mausam said.

“Oh common……. I won’t forget you……it’s just that our internals were on, so I was busy with them..”

“Oh yeah I know how mechanical department is ……. You guys really have to toil hard to score decently”

“Hey…… how do you know that?”

“everybody knows that……. Besides I know Sharma sir closely…. your HOD…. he was the cultural head of the BHU team last year”

“Oh…… that’s great….”, I said after which silence prevailed for the longest five minutes of my life…… for the obvious reason that I didn’t knew what to talk to her about……

“I have a lip balm, wanna use it?”, she said breaking the silence after she saw me fiddling with my lips.

“No…… its alright, I’m fine”

“Ohk…… where are your friends?........ its been so long they went out…”

“yeah its been so long….. I think there’s something fishy……, anyway I should walk you back to hostel……its getting late”, I said noticing the befalling darkness of the late winter evening as the beautiful lights of Vishwanath Temple forced themselves out of it.

“Sure …… its already 6:30, our stupid warden won’t allow a minute past 7”

Vijay caught up with us as we moved out of VT…….the birthday boy didn’t join as he had his basketball practice for the sports festival of IIT Kanpur to be held in February. We talked about a lot of stuff as we passed by the soothing smell of mogra from the nursery near the ‘Faculty of agriculture’ that reminded me of the well maintained small gardens in front of houses in posh area of Faridabad near my school……the little too extra yellow street light near the international hostel,…… and the stupid gang fight of dogs near the SBI-ATM.

“Be careful on the way back”, Mausam said as we left her in front of MMV(Mahila Maha Vidyalay).

“you sound serious……… is there something wrong?”, I asked as I sensed a bit of worry in her tone.

“There were three guys following us, I identify with two of them as my batchmates…”, Mausam said and looked at Vijay as he could comprehend the situation better than me.

Why is it a problem for us if they were following Mausam? What do we have to do with all this situation? I looked at Vijay with all these question on my mind as we walked past PMC(Piya Milan Chowk)……

“Her friends would not be very pleased to see us with her…… they obviously will have problems”, Vijay said as if he could hear all those questions out of my mind.

“You mean they like Mausam?....... Strange!..... and they would harm us for talking to her?.......”, I replied in a frightened tone as it was illogical to me.

“Yes…… this is Banaras,…… now hurry up and lets reach the market before anything bad happens…….”

Chapter1: The Dandiya night....

“Hi, I’m Sourabh….wanna dance with me?”, I asked to the one in yellow dress, standing with her two other friends who seemed uninterested.

“ummm…No….”, she replied and walked away.

“Dude……try harder”, Sandy shouted.

“Atleast I’’m trying……not just standing there like loosers….”, I replied.

“I mean c’mon…… it’s 31^st Dec, Dandiya night…..and I’m in no mood to play dandiya with a bunch of guys…. So please…..encourage me”, I continued in a lower tone.

“you’ve tried a chance on approximately all the girls in the premises right now…..except that fatty cat and the sweeper..”, Kartik said as he came back from toilet.

“Alright,…. This is enough…… I’m gonna give it one more try”, I said, frustrated.

“which one?”, Sandy asked, looking around for my next target.

I looked around to find someone I hadn’t tried a chance on atleast once, but it was useless as I didn’t wanted to ask that fatty cat.

“Hey….. I’ve got an idea….. the first girl to enter the gate would be my next target…… how’s it?”, I said and we all turned toward’s the gate, which showed that everyone agreed to my idea….. wait a minute, who’s everyone when I’ve already introduced you to kartik and sandy……. Well its viresh, who will be in this part of the story solely to increase the count to 4 guys.

“Okhay guys, I have the visual….. 4 girls…… 1 too short, 1 a bit fat, and the other two are just average,…… nearing up towards the gate…..who’s gonna be first is the big question now”, kartik dictated… when I silently approached one of the average girls and asked the same question for the billionth time… “ Hi, I’m Sourabh,…. Would you like to dance with me …”

“Yes”, came the reply……. “I am Mausam”, she continued.

Now that I had a girl to dance with, the next step was to dance for which I realized a second later that I had never played dandiya before in my life…..

“So, Mausam, do you know dandiya?”

“What?, I can’t hear you, the music is too loud…”, she shouted.

“I said, what do you do?”, I changed my question after I realized that it would be weird of me to ask her that directly.

“I am studying Zoology……it’s my first year…… what about you?”, she continued in a higher tone as the music was still loud.

“Mechanical engg……. 1^st year”, everyone in the premises heard that as the music stopped just as I shouted when someone got on the stage to brief about a contest that was being held there. “Ahh… I think that was a bit too loud”, I continued talking to Mausam, pretending to be unaware of what attracted everyone’s attention there.

After we both ended up with our introduction, we played dandiya for a while(rather she taught me how to play dandiya)…….it was fun, until I hurt her finger with that stupid dandiya stick(Although I’m a good learner, but that is true only when I’m not nervous)….so we decided to continue dancing without the sticks. Now given that I had never danced with a girl before besides my sister,(who wouldn’t care about my stupid looking dancing steps)…….striking dandiya sticks was a way too better option for a guy like me who’s not a very good dancer. But I had no choice so I made some random movements, trying to look as less stupid as I could……she was good at dancing though…..like every other girl, may be girls have ‘better dancing’ as a quality in their DNA structure.

“Oh, I think I’ve lost my clutcher”, Mausam said as she looked here and there on the ground. We all tried to find it, but no one could…….so we continued dancing…..with her long hairs jumping on her shoulder as she moved,………. they made her look rather beautiful than ‘just an average’ girl. I wonder how just a change of hair style could bring about such a change in her looks.

“It’s 8 already………too late, we should be leaving now”, the shorter one said as she took a breath out of her inhaler.

“Oh… ok, it was nice meeting the four of you……… hope to see you all around”, I said concluding our meeting when I silently handed the clutcher to Mausam…… “You look better without it”, I whispered to her and smiled…… she smiled back.

“Here……take down my number… its 9335…….”, she said.

“Hey thanks……. I will call you J, be in touch”, I said as I walked them to the parking area.

“Vijay?......... where were you…….let’s go and dance our asses out man……. Common”, I said as I saw vijay coming. I was relieved after the girls went away……. Its too hard to be sophisticated for such a long time.

“So, I heard you were dancing with a bunch of girls, who were they…… tell me all about it”, he asked curiously.

“What?....... where did you get to know about it……. I haven’t even told you yet”, I asked in a surprise.

“Everyone knows you met a girl, how is she?..... is she cute?”, vijay asked eagerly.

“forget her, lets go and dance….. it’s the dandiya night”, I said to change the topic.

*

>>>>>>>>Next day, VT(Vishwanath Temple) :

“This girl, Mausam, how was she?”, vijay asked to break the silence as we took a sip from our cold coffees, sitting at VT, bunking the last class before lunch break.

“She was OK, besides I’m not interested, it was just a “thing to do” on my list so I did it, she gave me her number too but I think I won’t use it”, I answered casually, more interested in the vanilla scoop they put in our coffees.

“What? .... then call her now, ask her to come here…….”, he said excitedly.

“I’m not calling her, we met……. Danced together…… its over now”

“Oh c’mon, she gave you her number, she expects you to call her, it will be fun, just do it”

“No”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to”

“Ahh…… just do it for experience……… and moreover in the end you will have a friend!”

“But….”

“Call her….”

“It’s not a very good time to call her, she may be busy…..”

“Call her….”

“how about tomorrow….?”

“CALL HER………….”

“alright alright………… her we go…… 9335……”

Tring! Tring!................